” Patti Smith taught me I can draw my own door and walk through. When I feel the weight of ageism and the weight of sexism pushing down on my shoulders, I think of her and try to negotiate my life in the same way she has hers”
It’s time to celebrate; we are all living longer! The down side is that because of that, many more of us can expect to experience some major upheavals in our lives as we party our way to old age. I’ve already had one life meltdown and watched in horror as my score on the Holmes and Rahe stress scale went sky high and my direction, morale and personal identity spiralled into the abyss.
But something strangely amorphous seems to be evolving out of the destruction of my previous life and I wonder, if this mysterious, indefinable ‘something’, which I just can not explain, could be the start of a shift towards a new beginning. And I wonder if a new, post apocalypse photograph of me might be able to identify something that I could not yet explain myself.
So, a blow- dry (to boost confidence), 2 glasses of Prosecco ( to prevent the facial paralysis usually only associated with dental surgery which I am expert at mimicking once a camera is focused upon myself) and half an hour doing my make-up and we are ready to go. 45 photos later and we finally come up with one where both Josef (the cat) and I are reasonably happy with the way we look.
And yes, I think there is something different about me. I am not looking beaten down and broken, I am looking o.k. And I do want to try to ‘draw my own door and walk right through’ just like Patti Smith, but not in a defiant way, but in the way I would do if I was just being myself; a mature woman who is reshaping her life.
I already wear the same Ann Demeulemeester boots as Patti, so I might just have a head start. But if the boots don’t work, I think I can rock a cool look with a dress and some wellingtons!